11/2019: I felt the Lord’s love for me

Due to an early childhood sexual experience, I did not consider myself clean before the Lord — especially when I recited the Young Women’s motto each week during church. This lead to my not valuing my virtue, and being raped by a recent convert to the Church. This is how I began my sexual life.

We were friends and I thought I loved him. Our intimacy lead to disciplinary councils — he in his ward, and I in mine. He obtained probation, and I was disfellowshipped. In my fury and confusion about our different outcomes, I left the Church for over a decade.

During that time, I focused on my education. My self-esteem grew based on what I could achieve academically. I continued to make poor choices about who I was intimate with, but I was careful enough not to get pregnant. Overall, I found my intimate relations to be empty and unfulfilling.

After landing my dream job, I moved to a new town. At that same time, there was a temple open house that my mother invited me to. Inside the temple, I felt the Lord’s love for me. The Holy Spirit I was given when I was eight began to grow. Within a few months, I began to attend church again. I was living the life of someone who lived by Gospel principles, but I wasn’t partaking of the sacrament. I couldn’t, due to being disfellowshipped. I worked with the bishop to clear my record. I also met and began dating a man who wanted to marry me in the temple. Given my past mistakes, I couldn’t believe he valued my soul that much. We were sealed in the Lord’s temple in November 2006 and are the best of friends.

Christiane and her husband, Bryan

Bryan and Christiane celebrating their marriage on many occasions.

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Christiane Woerner

Christiane Woerner

Wife. Friend. Writer. Professor. Reader. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Great Aunt. Yoga novice. Church of Jesus Christ. Loyal. Kind. Informed. Advocate.